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'WHY    DID^  YOU    PUT    IT  fOPFf  TILL  ,LrA>ST    NIGHT:"' 


PARTING    FRIENDS 

K  /Farce 

BY 
W.   D.   H  OWE  L  LS 

ILLUSTRATED 


HARPER  6-  BROTHERS  PUBLISHERS 

NEW  YORK  AND  LONDON 

M  C  M  X  I 


PRINTED   IN    THE    UNITED   STATES    OF    AMERICA 
PUBLISHED  JUNE.    1911 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

"WHY  DID  YOU  PUT  IT  OFF  TILL 

LAST    NIGHT?"        ....   Frontispiece 
11 1    THOUGHT    I     NEVER    SHOULD 

FIND    YOU" Facing  p.  1 6 

"SALLY!" "  20 

"HELLO!     THERE  YOU  ARE  AT 

LAST!" "  36 

"WE    CAN'T!     YOU    MUSTN'TI"  "  52 


222463 


PARTING    FRIENDS 


PARTING    FRIENDS 


MISS    EVELYN    MATTHEWS,    MR.    RALPH 
WAYLAND 

TfVELYN:  "But  why,  why  did 
•*-^  you  put  it  off  till  last  night — or 
this  morning  rather — when  you  knew 
I  must  sail  to-day,  and  there  would 
be  no  chance  to — to — to —  Oh,  I 
don't  see  how  I  can  ever  forgive  you! 
Didn't  you  know?  Didn't  I  do  every 
thing  that  any  human  girl  could,  to 
show  you?" 


Wayland:  "Yes,  dearest,  you  did; 
and  I  can  see  it  all,  now,  looking  back. 
I  knew,  yes,  but  I  didn't  dare." 

Evelyn:  "  That's  what  I  can't  forgive 
you  for ;  your  want  of  faith  in  me — in 
yourself.  If  I  were  a  man — " 

Wayland:  "  Oh,  don't  be  a  man,  dar 
ling,  not  for  a  single  instant ;  not  even 
to  convince  me  that  I  was  not  a  man. 
I  own  it,  now,  but  I  want  you  just  as 
you  are,  just  as  another  woman!"  He 
presses  her  hand  hard  as  it  lies  on  the 
seat  next  him  and  tenderly  crushes  her 
arm  and  fingers  intertwined  with  his. 
They  are  seated  on  one  of  the  most  re 
stricted  sofas  in  one  of  the  remotest 
embrasures  of  the  music-room  on  the 
Anglo- Teutonic -Batavian  triple  tur 
bine  wireless  3o,ooo-ton  Ritz  restau 
rant  steamer  Merseyhaveldam,  which  is 


to  sail  in  half  an  hour.  Around  their 
feet,  and  bulking  well  up  to  their 
knees,  lie  packages  and  bundles  of  fare 
well  offerings,  the  poignancy  of  grief 
in  them  subdued  by  the  gay  ribbons 
and  silken  cords  of  their  wrappings; 
boxes  and  sheaves  of  flowers  aban 
doned  hopelessly  on  the  floor  exhale 
a  rank  sweetness.  The  music-room 
seats  are  all  occupied  by  preoccupied 
passengers,  and  there  is  an  incessant 
coming  and  going,  and  laughing  and 
talking  everywhere.  Tides  of  leave- 
takers  swell  and  choke  the  passages 
outside,  and  pass  in  and  out  of  the 
music-room.  From  time  to  time  a 
young  man  enters  and  passes  round 
the  place  on  an  apparently  unsuccess 
ful  tour  of  discovery,  which  the  couple 
in  the  secret  nook  do  nothing  to  pro- 


mote.  The  young  man  is  tall  and 
gangling,  with  a  face  to  match  his 
figure  and  a  smile  of  inexhaustible 
amiability.  He  carries  aloft  a  long 
pasteboard  box. 

Evelyn,  shuddering  against  the  shoul 
der  of  Wayland  with  a  deep  sigh  of 
escape,  as  the  unsuccessful  explorer 
makes  one  of  his  disappearances: 
"He's  gone  again!  Well?" 

Wayland:  "Was  I  saying  anything? 
I  thought  I  was  merely  feeling.  Oh 
yes!  You  do  forgive  me,  don't  you?" 

Evelyn,  smelling  the  bunch  of  violets 
which  she  presses  to  her  nose  with  her 
free  hand:  "Oh  yes,  yes!  A  million 
times.  I  only  had  to  have  something 
against  you  to  keep  from  simply  melt 
ing  and  flowing  away.  Oh,  dear,  how 
nice  you  are,  and  how  wise,  even  down 


to  these  violets!  Any  other  flowers — 
'Sh!  There  he  is.  No!  He's  gone 
again;  he  merely  glanced  in.  I  sup 
pose,  by  the  look  of  that  long  box,  he's 
got  long  -  stemmed  roses  —  American 
Beauties,  of  course;  possibly  Jacks.  He 
doesn't  mean  any  harm,  poor  fellow." 

Way  land:  "  Oh  no,  he's  just  a  wan 
dering  idiot,  and  I  shall  not  kill  him — 
at  least  till  you're  gone." 

Evelyn:  "How  funny  you  are!  I 
didn't  know  you  had  so  much  humor — 
always  so  solemn  and  sententious,  till 
last  night.  But  last  night  you  were 
funny!  Do  you  suppose  anybody 
ever  made  love  before  in  a  taxicab? 
Or  not  made  it  exactly,  but  worked  up 
to  it.  With  Aunt  Bessie  there,  you 
couldn't  really  offer  yourself,  though  I 
don't  believe  she'd  have  minded.  She 


14 

must  have  seen  it  was  coming;  she's 
always  adored  you;  and  I  knew  she 
asked  to  let  us  drop  you  just  to  give 
you  a  last  chancey  And  when  you 
came  in  to  say  good-night,  and  she 
went  up -stairs  to  put  off  her  things  and 
left  us  in  the  reception-room,  you 
didn't  lose  much  time,  did  you,  dar 
ling?  It  was  simply  an  explosion, 
that  was  all.  But  how  much  time 
you  did  lose  before  the  explosion! 
No,  I  can't  forgive  you." 

Way  land:  "  I  don't  expect  it,  I  don't 
want  it.  If  you  forgave  me  you  might 
forget  me ;  the  two  always  go  together, 
and  I  want  you  to  keep  me  in  mind 
every  breath,  every  pulse!  I  shall 
you,  and  I  couldn't  consent  to  excel 
you  in  anything;  though  I  couldn't 
excel  you  if  I  did  consent." 


Evelyn:  "  Well,  then,  don't  let's  talk 
of  it  any  more.  We've  only  these  few 
minutes  left,  and  we  ought  to  talk 
about  something  vital — make  every 
word  hold  a  lifetime  of  meaning;  don't 
you  think  so?" 

Way  land:  "  Yes,  and  how  perfectly 
you  say  it,  how — " 


II 

MRS.    WELBY,    MISS    MATTHEWS, 
WAYLAND 

S-  WELBY,  struggling  through 
the  riveted  furniture  of  the 
music-room,  and  the  flux  and  reflux 
of  passengers  and  their  laughing, 
shouting,  and  talking  friends:  "Ah! 
There  you  are  at  last !  Oh,  my  dearest 
child,  what  a  time  I  have  had!  I 
thought  I  never  should  find  you,  and 
the  boat  would  carry  you  off  and  me 
with  you.  And  Mr.  Wayland,  too! 
Well,  I  can  certainly  trust  him  to  see 


'  I  THOUGHT  I  NEVER  SHOULD  FIND  YOU  " 


that  I  don't  get  left.  Guess  what  I've 
brought  you!  But  no,  you  must  wait 
to  get  off  before  you  look."  She  dis 
burdens  herself  of  two  boxes  which 
she  has  been  carrying,  putting  them 
into  the  eager  hands  of  Wayland,  and 
then  recovering  them  from  him  as  she 
sinks  into  an  arm-chair  facing  Evelyn. 
"  Oh,  thank  you  so  much.  The  whole 
joke  is  in  not  looking,  now.  But 
where's  Mrs.  Farlane?" 

Evelyn:  "Taking  time  by  the  fore 
lock  down  in  her  berth.  She's  so  de 
termined  to  be  sick,  you  know,  that 
she's  not  going  to  lose  a  moment. 
She  says  if  she  isn't  sick,  it  will  be  just 
so  much  pure  gain." 

Mrs.  Welby:  "  Dear  Mrs.  Farlane, 
how  funny  she  is !  So  much  character, 
always.  Has  anybody  brought  you 


any  of  that  new  mousse  chocolate  yet  ? 
Not  that — " 

Evelyn:    "  I  love  it!" 

Mrs.  Welby:  "  I  don't  mind  saying 
it's  in  one  of  them;  but  the  other  is 
strictly  between  ourselves,  don't  you 
know.  Dear  Mrs.  Farlane!  If  I  had 
only  remembered  her  passion  for  sea 
sickness,  I  should  certainly  have 
brought  her  some  of  those  red  tablets ; 
I  don't  remember  their  name,  but  you 
know  them  by  their  being  red.  And 
now" — flinging  herself  back  into  her 
chair  with  a  long  sigh  of  expectation — 
"tell  me  all  about  your  where,  when, 
and  how.  You  don't  mean  that  Mr. 
Wayland  is  the  only  one  of  your 
young  men  that's  come  to  see  you 
off?" 

Wayland:    "No,  Mrs.  Welby;    only 


I 


" SALLY!" 


the  first  of  them."     He  exchanges  a 
furtive  hand-pressure  with  Evelyn. 

Mrs.  Welby:  "And  I'm  the  second. 
Well,  that's  something.  Sally!"  She 
launches  this  cry  at  a  young  girl,  so 
long-legged  that  her  skirts  have  not 
been  able  to  reach  her  ankles,  who  has 
burst 'through  the  vermiculant  crowd, 
and,  flushed,  rumpled,  and  panting, 
comes  lugging  a  large  basket  of  very 
large  grapefruit,  and  stumbles  with  it 
at  the  feet  of  Miss  Matthews.  "  Why 
in  the  world  didn't  you  leave  it  with 
the  steward?" 
3 


Ill 

SALLY      WELBY,      MRS.       WELBY,       MISS 
MATTHEWS,    WAYLAND 

OALLY,  indignantly:  "  What  stew- 
ard,  I  should  like  to  know? 
There  are  a  thousand  stewards,  and 
you  can't  catch  one  of  them.  And,  be 
sides,  after  I'd  motored  down  with  it 
in  my  lap  from  Sixty-seventh  Street, 
and  kept  them  from  tumbling  out  with 
my  own  hands  all  the  way,  do  you 
think  I  was  going  to  let  any  steward 
gobble  them?  I  don't  call  you  much 
of  a  mother  for  suggesting  such  a 


25 

thing."  She  casts  herself  upon 
Evelyn's  neck,  with  many  kisses  and 
tender  murmurs.  "  I  picked  them  out 
myself,  and  there's  one  for  every  kiss; 
and —  How  do,  Mr.  Wayland!  I 
didn't  see  you."  She  gives  him  her 
hand. 

Wayland:  "  Oh,  I  wasn't  here — com 
pared  wi'th  E — " 

Sally:    "What?" 

Evelyn,  hastening  to  cover  his  con 
fusion:  "And  you  were  quite  right, 
Sally,  and  how  good  and  kind  of  you  to 
think  of  grapefruit,  of  all  things!  My 
favorite  fruit,  and  so  refreshing,  and 
the  very  thing  at  sea.  How  good  and 
kind  of  you!" 

Mrs.  Welby:  "Well,  I  must  say  she 
might  have  shown  more  originality. 
Why,  child,  don't  you  know  that  they 


26 

fairly  bathe  you  in  grapefruit  on  these 
boats?" 

Sally:  ''But  they're  not  your  own 
grapefruit,  and — " 

Evelyn,  pulling  her  down  and  kissing 
her:  "And  that  makes  all  the  differ 
ence.  We'll  have  yours  at  lunch  and 
dinner,  and  the  boat's  at  breakfast." 

Sally,  irrelevantly:  "I  saw  Mr. 
Framer  on  the  outskirts  somewhere, 
with  a  box  as  long  and  narrow  as  he  is, 
that  I  guess  had  American  Beauties  in 
it ;  and  I  guess  he  was  looking  for  you. 
Oh,  there  it  is  now!"  She  indicates 
the  box,  held  above  the  press  and  mak 
ing  its  way  irregularly  about,  as  if 
seeking  a  positive  direction. 

Evelyn:  "  Oh,  well,  stoop,  Sally 
dear,  and  don't  let  him  see  you!  Let 
him  go  and  leave  it  with  the  other 


27 

things  on  the  saloon  table.  Can't 
somebody  tell  him  ?  Can't  you,  Ra — 
Or,  no,  that  won't  do!  Oh,  dear!" 

Sally:  "There!  He's  gone  again. 
He  went  out  of  the  door ;  you  needn't 
be  afraid.  But  I  don't  wonder  you 
were.  Why,  Nancy!  Well,  of  all 
the  people!  What  have  you  brought? 
But  of  course  I'm  not  asking." 

Mrs.  Welby:  "No,  you  don't  seem 
to  be,  and  I'm  very  glad  you're  so 
thoughtful,  Sally." 


IV 

MRS.   ROBERT   EFFINGER   AND   THE 
OTHERS 

-  EFFINGER:  "  Merely  a 
trifling  en  tout  cas,  if  you  must 
know,  Sally,  before  the  grateful  re 
cipient  does."  To  Miss  Matthews: 
"No  cards.  I  couldn't  think  of  any 
thing  you'd  hate  to  have  worse, 
Evelyn,  and  I  trotted  out  all  your 
betes  noire s  and  counted  them.  Bob's 
coming  with  something  at  the  last 
moment,  I  suppose,  but  I  beat  him 
here,  and  I  feel  pretty  sure  I've  beaten 


him  on  the  en  tout  cas.  Oh,  how  do 
you  do,  Mr.  Wayland?  You're  such 
a  shrinking  violet  I  didn't  see  you  be 
hind  that  basket  of  grapefruit.  Are 
you  holding  all  the  things?  Then 
why  not  the  en  tout  cas?  Eve 
lyn  doesn't  seem  disposed  to  grab 
it." 

Evelyn:  "  You  haven't  given  me  any 
chance  to  grab  it  yet,  Nancy.  Hand 
it  over."  She  reaches  for  it. 

Mrs.  Effinger,  giving  it:  "There. 
But  why  we  haven't  left  all  our  offer 
ings  on  the  altar  in  the  dining-saloon, 
I  can't  understand." 

Mrs.  Welby:  "We  have  no  confi 
dence  in  the  attendants  of  the  temple. 
I  feel  that  they'd  have  eaten  up  every 
bit  of  my  chocolate  mousse — " 

Mrs.  Effinger,  with  a  cry  to  Evelyn: 


30 

"  Chocolate  mousse!  Oh,  give  me  one, 
you  greedy  thing!  When  you  knew 
how  I  adored  them !  Actually  keeping 
the  box  shut!" 

Sally:  "  Oh,  there  he  comes  again! 
Or  it  does!'* 

Mrs.  Effinger:    "He?     It?" 

Sally:  "  Mr.  Framer,  with  a  box  of 
American  Beauties,  as  long  and  lank 
as  he  is!  See  it  moving  through  the 
air!  It's  coming  this  way."  With  a 
skilful  reproduction  of  the  motor-'bus 
conductor's  manner:  " '  Elevated  road! 
All  keep  your  seats !  Bat  your  heads ! ' 
There,  he's  gone  again.  Evelyn's 
saved!" 

Mrs.  Effinger:  "  Do  I  understand 
that  Miss  Matthews  doesn't  wish  to 
meet  the  bearers  of  gifts  ?  It  seems  to 
me  that  this  is  a  hint  to  me.  Good- 


bye,  you  poor  thing!  Bon  voyage; 
many  returns  of  the  same."  She 
stoops  over  Evelyn  and  kisses  her. 
4 'Good-bye!" 

Evelyn:  "  Oh,  thank  you,  Nancy,  so 
much!" 

Mrs.  .Effinger:    "For  going?" 

Evelyn:  "  For  the  en  tout  cas.  Stay 
and  see  whether  Cousin  Bob  can  beat 
it!" 

Mrs.  Effinger:  "For  pure  banality, 
it's  inapproachable.  But  the  fates 
may  fight  for  Bob ;  he  may  bring  you 
a  shoe-bag!" 

Mrs.  Welby:  "  Oh,  don't  say  such  a 
thing!"  She  rises. 

Mrs.  Effinger:  "  He  may.'1  To  Mrs. 
Welby  and  Sally:  "Coming,  girls?" 
To  Wayland :  "Mr.  Wayland ? ' ' 

Way  land:  "  Yes,  yes.  As  soon  as  I 
4 


can   catch   a   steward   to   give   these 

things  to.'* 

-  Mrs.  Effinger,  subtly:   "Oh." 

Mrs.  Welby  and  Sally,  kissing  Ev 
elyn:  "Good-bye,  dear.  Don't  be 
greedy  with  the  chocolates.  Eat  all 
the  grapefruit  you  can,  Evelyn.  It 
will  do  you  good." 


V 

.     EVELYN,    WAYLAND 

TfVELYN:  "Oh,  can  you  believe 
•^  they're  actually  gone?" 

Way  land:  "  It  does  seem  too  good 
to  be  true." 

Evelyn:  "  Well,  now  let's  don't  lose 
any  time!  (You  don't  mind  my 
grammar,  or  ungrammar  ?)  They'll  be 
back  in  hordes  in  a  moment.  Where 
were  we  ? ' '  She  vividly  presses  his  hand 
with  each  question.  "  Where  were  we  ?" 

Way  land:  "I'm  with  you,  wherever 
you — " 


34 

Evelyn:  "  Oh,  don't  triv — be  trivial, 
I  mean.  You  were  saying  something 
vital;  what  was  it?" 

Way  land:  "That  I  love  you  better 
than  anything  in  the  universe." 

Evelyn:  "And  I  you.  But  that 
goes  without  saying.  Oh,  I  know, 
now!" 

Way  land:  "  We  must — must — MUST 
— somehow — before  we  part ;  I  couldn't 
leave  you  without —  It  wouldn't  be 
parting.  But  with  these  people — 

Evelyn:  "Couldn't  we  bend  our 
faces  down — together — and  pretend  to 
be  looking  for  something  in  this  rub 
bish,  and — " 

Way  land:  "Oh,  you  darling  to 
think  how!" 

Evelyn:  "  And  you  don't  despise  me 
for  thinking?" 


Wayland,  in  inexpressible  protest: 
"  Oh!"  They  bend  over,  in  pretended 
scrutiny  of  the  packages  at  their  feet; 
a  loud,  jovial  voice  arrests  them. 


VI 

EFFINGER,    EVELYN,    WAYLAND 

TJFFINGER:  "  Hello!  There  you 
~^  are  at  last!  I  thought  you'd  de 
cided  not  to  go,  Evelyn ;  been  all  over 
the  ship  for  you.  Hello,  Wayland! 
What  are  you  doing  here  ?  You're  not 
going?" 

Wayland,  fiercely:  "  Oh  no,  I'm  just 
filling  in  the  time  between  parting 
friends." 

Effinger:  "Well,  you  won't  have 
much  time  to  fill  in  between  me.  Ship 
sails  in  about  ten  minutes." 


'  HELLO!     THERE  YOU  ARE  AT  LAST!" 


30 

Evelyn,  with  a  covert  clutch  of  Way- 
land's  hand:  "  Oh!  In  ten  minutes  ?" 

Effinger:  "Well,  about.  Haven't 
you  heard  the  warning  voice  of  the 
steward?" 

Evelyn ,  convulsively :    ' '  No ! ' ' 

Way  land,  indignantly:  "How  can 
we  hear  anything  in  this  din?" 

Effinger,  glancing  round  at  the  dense 
laughing  and  shouting  throng  in  the 
music-room:  "They  do  seem  to  be 
having  rather  a  good  time."  To 
Evelyn:  "  Guess  what  I'm  holding  be 
hind  my  back,  to  comfort  you  on  your 
long  five  days'  voyage!" 

Evelyn,  wildly:    "A  shoe-bag?" 

Effinger:  "A  shoe-bag!  Is  that 
some  of  Nancy's  rot?  Do  I  look  like 
a  man  that  would  bring  a  shoe-bag  to 
a  lovely  girl  leaving  friends  and  home 


40 

on  an  oft-tried  trip  to  the  Old  World  ? 
Why,  they  starve  you  on  these  boats: 
tea  when  you  wake ;  breakfast  at  nine ; 
bouillon  at  eleven;  lunch  at  one;  tea 
at  four ;  dinner  at  seven-thirty :  if  you 
don't  have  something  betweentimes, 
you  simply  perish.  You  can't  live  on 
flowers  and  chocolates  and  grapefruit 
and  en  touts  cases  (Nancy  brought  that, 
I'll  bet);  and  I've  been  to  Dream's, 
and  got  you  one  of  his  fairy  copper 
baskets!"  He  brings  it  round  in  front 
of  him,  and  Evelyn  clasps  her  hands 
in  a  feint  of  ecstasy  as  he  lifts  the  lid. ., 
"There!  It's  a  Dream  itself,  isn't  it? 
— full  of  dreams!  Did  you  ever  see 
such  a  load  of  indigesti-comestibles  ? 
Try  one  now — greatest  prophylactic 
against  seasickness,  one  of  these  gooey, 
frosted  layer-cakes !  No  ?  Well,  you'll 


come  to  it ;  I  must  be  off;  going  ashore, 
Wayland?  What's  the  matter?" 

Wayland,  with  his  eyes  fastened  on 
a  tall  form  moving  on  the  skirts  of  the 
crowd,  with  a  long,  narrow  box  borne 
aloft:  "Yes,  yes,  I'm  going — go — " 

Evelyn:    "Oh,  what  is  it?" 

Wayland:   "  It  is!" 

Effinger:  "Framer?  Why,  he's  been 
looking  all  over  the  ship  for  you.  I'll 
just  go  and  tell — " 

Evelyn:    "If  you  dare!" 

Effinger,  with  intelligence:  "Oh! 
Well,  I  won't  then.  Come  along, 
Wayland.  How  do  they  put  you 
ashore  on  this  line?  I've  heard 
whistles  and  gongs  and  stewards — 
which  sounds  last?  But  no  matter. 
Good-bye,  Miss  Matthews;  good-bye 
to  Mrs.  Farlane,  for  me;  good-bye, 
5 


Wayl —  Why,  no,  you're  going 
ashore,  too!" 

Way  land:  "  Yes,  yes,  as  soon  as  I've 
signed  for  these  things.  Don't  wait 
for  me."  To  a  district  messenger, 
bearing  a  large  jar  of  California  figs: 
"For  Miss  Matthews?"  and  to  a  suc 
cession  of  messengers  with  arm-loads 
of  tulips,  branches  of  bananas,  and 
baskets  of  oranges,  grapes,  and  apples: 
"  For  Miss  Matthews  ?  For  Miss  Mat 
thews?  For  Miss  Matthews?"  Sign 
ing:  "Well,  why  didn't  you  leave 
them  with  the  steward?" 

Chorus  of  District  Messengers: 
"Couldn't  find  no  steward!" 

Effinger,  merging  himself  with  the 
crowd:  "Well,  if  you  won't!" 


VII 

.      EVELYN,    WAYLAND 

JJVELYN,  bitterly:  "But  every- 
J*— '  body  seems  to  find  u$!  Oh,  I 
wish  I  hadn't  a  friend  on  earth!" 

Wayland:  "  Well,  they  can't  hold 
out  much  longer.  The  boat  starts 
now  in  less  than  six  minutes."// 

Evelyn:   "  Oh,  I  can't  let  you  go!" 

Wayland:  "  Nor  I  you.  But  I  must, 
I  must!" 

Evelyn:  "  How  cruel  you  are!  Let 
me  stay  with  you!  I  won't — I  can't 
go!" 


Wayland:  "And  I  can't  stay.  I'm 
going  with  you." 

Evelyn:    "  No,  no.     I'll  stay." 

Wayland:  "  But  you  can't  stay  now, 
dearest.  Your  Not  Wanted  on  the  Voy 
age  luggage  is  all  in  the  hold.  You 
must  go!" 

Evelyn:  "Why  didn't  you  speak 
sooner — why  didn't  I  make  you,  I 
mean  ?  Now,  to  part  only  a  few  hours 
after  we  belong  to  each  other.  But 
I  won't  blame  you,  at  the  last  minute, 
so!" 

Wayland:  "But  you're  not;  I'm 
blaming  myself." 

Evelyn:  "But  I  can't  let  you  leave 
me  here  alone — without  Aunt  Eliza 
beth,  or  anything.  Oh,  where  is  she  ? 
How  can  she  be  down  in  her  berth  at 
such  a  time!" 


45 

Way  land:  "I'll  call  her — get  her — " 
Evelyn:  "  No,  there  isn't  time!  Oh, 
hear  those  dreadful  gongs  and  whistles 
and  stewards  all  shouting  at  you  to 
go  ashore !  Where  is  Aunt  Elizabeth  ? 
Oh,  there  you  are — just  dropped  from 
heaven,  in  the  very  nick  of  time!  Oh, 
Aunt  Elizabeth!" 


VIII 

MRS.     FARLANE,     EVELYN,     WAYLAND 

71/TRS.  FARLANE:  "What  are  you 
^  doing  here,  you  crazy  things  ? 
Mr.  Wayland,  I'm  astonished  at  you. 
Don't  you  know  the  boat's  just  start 
ing?  They'll  be  pulling  up  the  gang 
way.  Why  don't  you  go?  Every 
body  else  is  going,  and  I've  come  up 
here  from  a  sick — a  seasick — bed  to 
send  you."  The  screaming,  laughing 
crowd  is,  in  fact,  melting  and  ebb 
ing  away  from  the  music-room.  Mr. 
Framer  vanishes  through  the  door 


47 

with  his  tall  box  of  American  Beauty 
roses.  "  What  are  you  stopping  for  ?" 

Way  land,  very  seriously:  "Mrs. 
Farlane,  I  am  engaged  to  Evelyn — " 

Mrs.  Farlane,  with  astonishment: 
"Well,  I  should  suppose  so — after  last 
night!" 

Wayland:  "  I  consider  her  my  wife 
now;  and  yet — and  yet — we  must  part 
like  strangers." 

Mrs.  Farlane:  "  How,  like 
strangers  ?  What  do  you  mean  ? 
Evelyn,  is  this  some  nonsense  of 
yours?"  With  severity:  "If  it's  a 
joke,  Mr.  Wayland — 

Evelyn,  whimpering:  "Oh,  do  you 
think  he  could  joke  on  such  a  subject  ? 
People  have  been  heaping  themselves 
on  us  ever  since  he's  been  here,  and 
they  stare  so — stare  so — " 


48 

Way  land:  "  That  we  can't  part  as 
we  should.  If  you  would  just  stand  a 
little  nearer,  so  that  I  could — could — 
without  making  a  show  of  it — kiss  her 
good-bye — just — once — " 

Mrs.  Farlane:  "  Oh,  you  poor,  poor 
things!  I'll  stand  as  close  as  I  can, 
and  cluster  round  you  as  thick!  Do 
you  mean  here?"  She  puts  herself  in 
position,  and  moves  this  way  and  that 
so  as  to  intercept  the  view  of  the  lin 
gering  witnesses  in  the  music-room, 
and  Evelyn  and  Wayland  have  risen 
for  a  parting  embrace,  when  a  joyous 
noise  bursts  upon  them  from  a  troop  of 
young  men  and  girls  who  come  pushing 
into  the  place  with  incoherent  cries. 


IX 

THE     YOUNG     MEN     AND     GIRLS |      MRS. 
FARLANE,    EVELYN,    WAYLAND 

CT*HE  GIRLS:  "There  you  are  at 
-*  last!"  "  Oh,  Evelyn,  such  a  time 
we've  had  finding  you!"  "And  well 
be  carried  off  with  you,  now. ' '  "  Here, 
last  chance!  All  the  latest  publica 
tions!"  "I  knew  you'd  forget  a 
steamer  -  chair  cushion,  and  I've 
brought — "  "Don't  tell  me  anybody 
else  has  given  you  grapefruit ! "  "  And 
a  Dream  basket?  Oh,  how  cruel! 

But  mine's  nickel-plated,  anyway!     I 
6 


So 

packed  it  myself,  Evelyn!"  "There 
isn't  a  moment!"  "Hurry,  girls!" 
"Oh,  good-bye."  They  drop  their 
gifts  at  Evelyn's  feet,  and  crowd  Way- 
land  from  her  with  their  multitude  and 
successive  embraces,  while  the  young 
men  shake  hands  with  Wayland  and 
Mrs.  Farlane. 

The  Young  Men:  "Never  got  such 
time  out  of  three  taxies  before ! "  "  We 
shall  all  be  up  for  speeding."  "Real 
ambulance  gait . "  "  Told  the  mounted 
cops  we  had  run  over  these  girls,  and 
were  taking  them  to  the  hospital." 
"  If  I  hadn't  seen  Wayland's  head  and 
shoulders  through  the  window  here, 
we  should  never  have  found  you." 
"Come!"  "That's  the  last  call!" 
"  We  shall  all  be  left — carried  off,  that 
is."  "Come,  come!"  With  wails 


from  the  girls  and  babbled  and  bub 
bled  farewells,  the  party  join  in  flight, 
and  carry  with  them  the  tall  figure  of 
Mr.  Framer,  who  has  haunted  the 
background  with  his  box  of  roses,  and, 
without  attempting  to  leave  it  now, 
involuntarily  vanishes. 


X 


A    STEWARD,    MRS.    FARLANE,    EVELYN, 
WAYLAND 

CT'HE  STEWARD:  "All  ashore,  all 

•^    ashore." 

Evelyn,  to  Wayland:  "Oh,  go,  go!" 
She  glances  through  the  window.  "  Oh, 
they're  untying  the  gangway.  Oh, 
dearest  love,  go!  Don't  wait  for  any 
thing!  Throw  one  to  me  from  the 
pier!"  She  pushes  him  wildly  from 
her.  "  Everybody's  looking  back,  and 
waving.  We  can't!  You  mustn't!" 
Wayland  wavers  frantically  and  then 
rushes  distractedly  away.  "Oh,  oh! 
What  have  I  done?" 


"WE  CAN'T!     YOU  MUSTN'T!" 


XI 

'  MRS.    FARLANE,    EVELYN 

-  FARLANE:    "A  very  silly 
thing;    and  he's  done  another! 
You  don't  deserve  each  other." 

Evelyn,  flying  to  the  window:  "Oh, 
there  he  is  on  the  gangway,  just  behind 
Mr.  Framer!  And  the  sailors  are  lift 
ing  it  and  the  men  on  the  pier  are  pull 
ing  it  down !  How  frightfully  it  swings 
in  the  air!  Oh,  I  can't  bear  to  look! 
But  I  must!  I  must!  What  a  dread 
ful  din  the  whistle  makes!  How  can 
they?  Look,  look,  Aunt  Bessie!  Can 


you  see  him  from  your  window  ?  Yes  ? 
I  can't!  Where  is  he — where  is  he?" 

Mrs.  Farlane,  at  the  next  window: 
"  He's  all  right;  he's  on  the  pier,  now. 
Don't  you  see  him  ?  Just  beside  that 
idiot  with  his  box  of  roses." 

Evelyn:  "Yes,  oh  yes,  /  see  him. 
How  good  you  are,  aunty,  to  find  him. 
And  he  sees  me!  Yes,  he  does,  he 
does!  And  he's  kissing  his  hand  to 
me!  Oh,  he  remembered!  Oh,  you 
darling!  Oh,  my  dear  love!  And  I'll 
kiss  mine  to  you;  I  don't  care  now  if 
the  whole  world  sees  me."  She  kisses 
her  hand;  then  she  gives  a  cry  of 
despair. 

Mrs.  Farlane:  "What  is  it,  Evelyn? 
Are  you  crazy?  What's  the  matter? 
Has  he  fallen  in?" 

Evelyn:     "No.     But   Mr.    Framer's 


57 

got  in  front  of  him  and  he  thinks  I'm 
kissing  my  hand  to  him;  and  he's 
kissing  his  to  me.  Oh,  oh,  oh!"  She 
bursts  into  tears,  and  cowers  away 
from  the  window,  hiding  her  face  in 
her  handkerchief.  Mrs.  Farlane  strikes 
an  attitude  of  helpless  and  hopeless 
compassion. 


THE     END 


THIS  BOOK  IS  DUE  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 
STAMPED  BELOW 


'   1916 

OCr  4  1916 


1919 

ae 


